Close friend with the right profile
I have been sick for many years of my life (no complaint just a fact). I noticed something about sick people. It seems the ones that do well are also the type of person who does well in other things in life. Last week a friend (J) came to me and told me he had cancer of the lungs and several spots around his body. He knows I beat the first cancer 25 years ago and now I am coming back from the treatments of this latest cancer and he said to me “I have no question in my mind you will beat this one, but how”.
He was looking for some answers. We all know there are no answers just pieces to the puzzle and little did J know he had many of he pieces to win.
He had his treatment in full swing. I gave him the name of a Dr. that will work with him for free and set up a protocol for his supplements and foods. I then I sat him down and told him I believe with all my heart and sole he will be fine. Now I hate when people say to me “you will be fine”. Fact is I guess it makes them feel good. Now they do not have to think of my suffering. Many years ago I decided to handle it this way. When anyone who cares about me says “you will be fine I know it” I tell them this. I always say it with caring tone. My intent is never to hurt them, but I need to shut down the mitigation of my condition by any one but me. Unless you are my creator you really have no idea. I appreciate your thought, but I would prefer you wishing me the best.
Anyway, lets get back to my friend. The reason why I said to him I believed he would be fine is he fits the profile. I have had several debilitating health problems and 25 years of living with them have taught me something, there is a profile that makes it, not a person. He fits this profile to a T.
I am going to go back many years when we were young hungry men. We were all dreaming of becoming rich and working hard for it. It was a hot summer day and the air was filled with dust from the highway where my one man body shop was located. It was Saturday. I remember that because Saturday was the day that the gas station attendant (Raymond) in the front of my body shop, would ask his wife to go to the fruit market and buy a bunch of different fruits. At lunch Raymond, his wife, his little girl and I would sit and enjoy lunch, like it was fit for a king. The rest of the week we ate on the run. I usually had a sandwich in one hand and I was sanding the car with the other.
On this particular day Raymond, Tony another friend and myself had finished stuffing ourselves with lunch and we were standing in the front of the gas station. Business was slow and we were just kidding around. A car pulled in and J was sitting behind the wheel smoking a cigar dressed up and looking pretty cool with his arm out the window. What I can’t totally describe is the car. It was a beat-up older Lincoln that looked like a piece of junk. Now we would not say anything because back then we all drove junks, we were just getting going in life. We stood there talking to J. Next to the gas station was a trucking company, it was owned by Pat. Pat was older and a dear friend and he had an interesting life. I lost him. His life style required colorful friends of many back grounds and one of them murdered him one night. I know it is not important to this story, but I can not pass his name without telling you he was a very special man with some faults that I loved and miss dearly.
Back to J. As he sat in this car and we all talked and kidded around. One of the truck drivers from Pat’s yard pulled in. He was one of the interesting and more humorous truck drivers. He was a big man ( T-bone) must to have run 350lb. I was very friendly with him and he always came to see me in my shop when he was at the yard. He was from the deep south and talked with a deep southern accent. He walked up to us and after greetings he did not say a word. Then he said to J in that deep southern accent as he stared down at him sitting in the car “hey boy don’t you be sitting in that f—– car like there aint nothing wrong with it. We were all thinking the same think, but it took T-bone to say it. Well we laughed so hard we were spitting.
That is the deal, J was already rich. He had already made it in his mind. He was as the salesmen say “faking it until you make it”. Of course J is very rich now and has a fine life. Of course he built it with dedication and hard work, but to him there were no options he was there long before he arrived.
For you and I, whether we are beating cancer or some other illness or building a business. It is the same. We will most likely attain the picture of ourselves that we hold in our minds. Limit that picture to reality and the road can be rough. I see myself as an upright strong man walking about. That is the picture I hold in my minds eye. When I go to sleep the last thing I see in my minds eye, is me upright and strong. When I awake, I see that person again. I lay in bed and for a few minutes, I visualize that man and it makes me happy. During the day if I find myself under the control of my health, I stop, close my eyes and do it again. I used this technique for years to see myself as a successful business man and it gave me all I have. Suggestive visualization it works.
If you did not read my story of the pigeon on my blog at thegiftofcancer.com, (looking at the animal kingdom) you may find it interesting.